In my last blog I focused on practical actions you can take to make your day-to-day less of a strain by experimenting to find what works for you and proactively helping others know your preferences.
In this blog I also share some practical hints and tips but focus on how to stay on an even keel physically and mentally from a longer term view:
Physical health:
- Don’t take your eye off the ball on regular health checks
- Keep active but not just for the usual reasons
Mental health:
- Avoid media and messages about superficial facial or cosmetic issues
- Maintain or explore a hobby that reminds you of what you can do (and not what you cannot)
On reflection these points can seem obvious but it is precisely when your energy reserves are focused on dealing with a significant health issue, like facial paralysis, that it is easy to lose sight of the bigger picture and forget to take the initiative to keep your health on an even keel not just for that day but the longer term.
Especially if you are in a country in which the medical support services, whether for physical or mental health, are not joined up it is down to you to make sure that you keep up regular health check-ups and personal practices. It can feel unfair and another extra task but in the long-run you’ll benefit tenfold.
Physical health:
- Don’t take your eye off the ball on regular health checks
It is easy to let yourself just focus on seeing specialists relating to your facial difference (e.g. Ear, Nose and Throat , etc.) but it is important to remember that any facial paralysis will have secondary impacts which means it is more important than ever to keep going to regular check-ups with your dentist and optician.
If you have difficulty closing your eye, having regular visits to an optician or eye clinic is critical as they can make sure you get the right eye drops or gels and advice to help keep the surface of your eye from being damaged.
Regular visits to the dentist also become even more important as you may find that the paralysis effects your teeth over time.
At first, especially if you are going to a new optician or dentist, it can feel uncomfortable as it draws attention to the paralysis just at a time when you want to feel as normal as possible, but having advice from specialists is critical to avoid further health complications over time. - Keep active but not just for the usual reasons
Physical exercise is important for anyone in staying fit, but the effects of not keeping physically fit and managing your weight come with extra challenges with facial paralysis. There are do doubt individual differences but in my case I found that when I did less exercise that I would put on weight not just on my body but also on my face. And, every time this happened it would, in turn, make it difficult for me to use the already limited movement in my face.
So, although your first reaction can be to avoid going outside or to the gym, don’t forget that reducing exercise can compound any limitations that you may be experiencing as a result of your condition.
Mental health:
- Avoid media and messages about superficial facial or cosmetic issues
In my case, facial paralysis resulted from surgery to remove a growth from the facial nerve. This meant spending a few weeks at home recovering and the inevitable time with day-time television. Day-time television at that time included chat shows which could include topics such as people wanting plastic surgery for cosmetic reasons.
The was about the worst thing I could watch as it just made me feel more anger, frustration and resentment that people could be complaining about their looks when they had full facial functionality while I was dealing with a loss of nerve function.
There’s a lot of “dross”in the media which is the worst thing to watch if you want to keep a positive outlook and so, where possible, try to think ahead about how you can limit your exposure to such content whether on the media, internet or in newspapers or magazines - Maintain or explore one hobby that reminds you of what you can do (and not what you cannot)
Our face is inextricably linked to our identity and regaining confidence in your own identity when you look different takes time. Again, especially if you have facial paralysis as a result of surgery or some trauma that prevents you from immediately returning to work or studies, it can be a huge help if you can keep up or find a hobby that helps engage you in learning and mastery of some skills.
It can seem like a comparatively small act, but just at a time when strangers around you may make unfounded judgements about you based on your different looks, the more you can do to ground yourself in skill or knowledge building for yourself, the more it will help you in building your muscle of resilience in your day-to-day interactions with others.
It will be there to remind you what you CAN do and the value that you DO bring to dispel your fears of what you may feel you cannot do as a result of the facial paralysis or facial difference.
In this blog I focused on a further set of practices and actions you can take to look after yourself and keep on an even keel physically and mentally. In the next blog I’ll switch from the perspective of individuals living with facial paralysis or facial differences to those people who want advice on how to support individuals dealing with facial difference.