In my day job I am an organisational development specialist. Development at an individual, team and organizational level often comes down to change and it is for this reason that I’ve become particularly interested in behavioural economics and how you can construct “nudges” to facilitate a certain change in behavior.
One of the experts in this field is Dan Ariely and he gave a talk at a conference on behavioural economics called “Behavioural Exchange 2019”.
He starts his presentation talking about his appearance which looks unusual due to the fact that the right side of his face is scarred from being burned as a child. He manages to keep the explanation short and uses humor effectively to inform without distracting from the main purpose of his presentation. (You can see a recording of his presentation including the introduction here: https://youtu.be/Opjq1JT_dS8?t=90 )
When getting back to the day-to-day, after being left with facial paralysis, my initial tendency was not to talk about my appearance because I was so worried that it would draw attention away from the topic that I wanted to share or present, and also for fear of people focusing on my appearance rather than on the content of what I was saying.
However, I have found that when I am among people who are not used to seeing facial difference that they are drawing assumptions anyway or can be distracted precisely because the are wondering why I look different – in some ways, I’m maintaining a state of distraction in the listener or audience precisely because I’m not addressing the “elephant in the room”: In the absence of information people don’t stop making assumptions, they just connect the dots in their own way and make up their own stories as to what might be the cause of your difference in appearance.
In some ways a presentation on stage can make it easier to directly address something like this right from the beginning, but depending on the culture or situation it isn’t always easy to find the right timing to explain why you look different. In these situations we need to get creative and so that is where other approaches like creating a link in your email signature to a “Useful things to know about me” explanation, which I mentioned here in my second blog (“Managing your day-to-day for yourself and for others around you”), can be helpful
It takes time to find your own preferred style and approach to address the unspoken questions or assumptions in the room, but I think Dan Ariely’s introduction is one good example.
What approaches have you developed that you have found helpful and in what situations?