With sport centers and gyms closed and more people needing to get creative with how they stay active, I thought I’d take this opportunity to share how I went from hating running even for just 5 minutes to developing it into something that I now do for enjoyment for over an hour.
This is another long blog, but it speaks to how many little experiments and tweaks or adjustments to small things can support you in finding a way to make exercise less like a challenge while living with facial paralysis.
It was a long process of trial and error and in the interest of sharing from my own experience, here are a few ways I found a way to reduce the discomfort or unfamiliarity when running and gradually turn into a restorative practice.
Why running?
Initially I found it difficult to go to sports centers as the facial paralysis would make me self-conscious and so although I did persist in going to sports centers, I think a pre-existing practice of running would have been a great stabilizer as I returned to the world with facial difference for the first time.
The beauty of running or jogging, especially at a quiet time of day or place is that you can really make it your own. It wasn’t until I had been running for a few years that I came across a delightful documentary podcast in the “Onbeing” library on “Running as a Spiritual Practice”. You can listen to or download it from this link:https://onbeing.org/programs/billy-mills-christina-torres-ashley-hicks-et-al-running-as-spiritual-practice-jul2017/
I’d highly recommend it as another way to help you find your own way into developing running as your own self-management and stabilizing practice
Over the years the other side benefits I found are that even when on business trips or holidays, depending on the location there is a good chance I can find somewhere to run even if there is no sports center or gym available.
I’ve also found that running helps me in reducing the anxiety and frustration that can build up due to the day-to-day challenges of living with facial paralysis. Sometimes frustration can feel like a kind of pent up energy and running is a great way to physically “burn off” this unproductive mental energy.
Steps towards creating your own personal practice of running:
1. Removing the barriers: removing unnecessary weight and reducing friction in what you wear & carry
2. Developing strategies and finding accessories to address the side-effects of facial paralysis while running
3. Listening to what engages, supports or helpfully distracts
4. Being aware that your interests and tastes will change over time
5.Coming to peace with starting small and working up longer distances over time
1. Removing the barriers: removing unnecessary weight and reducing friction in what you wear & carry
Professional running or sports stores include all sorts of recommended running-specific attire shoes and accessories, but their recommendations may not actually facilitate you finding your own way into running.
What worked for me was discovering what was creating friction or making running uncomfortable, and experimenting with alternatives until it felt like less of a burden.
- Ways to carry your house keys or phone in a way that requires no continual adjustment
I knew straight from the start that I just could not run with any size of rucksack. I couldn’t find a rucksack that would not sway or shift in some way while I was running and I found myself repeatedly having to stop to adjust my rucksack and t-shirt. Next, I tried out different waist-band phone holders and unfortunately, again I found that these would start to loosen or slip and so I would have to stop repeatedly to re-adjust the fitting.
In the end, I discovered that a phone armband worked best for me. There are different sizes – some big enough to fit your phone, some cash and keys. I also found one in which I could cram lots of tissues which is very useful if you have an eye that waters a lot when you run.
It may be that a waistband-type phone holder or small specialist runner’s rucksack does work for you, but as each of us is different I would go in without preconceptions and just try to find what is least likely to feel like an extra weight or require repeated adjustment while running.
- T-shirts, shorts and running wear
I initially started running with slightly baggy t-shirts and shorts as this is what I would be most comfortable wearing in the gym. However, I discovered, especially when running in hotter weather that the baggier the t-shirt and shorts the more they would feel like an extra weight and make me too hot very quickly
Something I learned early on is that whenever I feel like I’m carrying extra weight or when I start to feel hot that I feel this need to stop. As a result, overtime, I’ve moved to thinner and smaller t-shirts and shorts. Even in the winter, I still prefer to wear thin shorts and t-shirts where I can, and focus on wearing other accessories to keep warm the parts of my body that are most sensitive to the cold, such as my face and hands.
In the professional sports shorts I see various lycra running shorts and leggings promoted, but I have found these make me feel more restricted when running and can also make me feel too hot so they haven’t worked for me.
It is useful to understand what circumstances / feelings are most likely to make you want to stop mid-run, whether that it is a tendency to feel too hot, or too cold or certain clothings and materials that start to feel like an extra weight or increase friction. The better you can get at identifying these things, then the easier it is is to adjust and remove things that increase the reasons to stop running rather than just keep going.
- Running shoes
As with t-shirts and shorts, I actually found that the items promoted by sports or running shops didn’t necessarily meet my needs. I was recommended some springy soled shoes but actually find the thinnest sole of running shoe has worked best for me. In particular, because thicker-soled shoes can feel heavier and cause me to trip more often. I also came across a type of running shoe or trainer that is made of a kind of elastic weave that allows air to flow through the fabric. I initially bought these in the summer but now find I use them all year round as give my foot the right balance of support while a bit of flexibility and stretch on the upper part of my foot
I certainly do recommend getting advice from a professional sports shop, especially to select shoes which are least likely to cause injury, but you will still need to experiment to find the kind of running shoe that provides you with the right balance of support and comfort that you need.
Also, if you find, like me, that an over-watering eye is a side effect of the paralysis, having a pair of trainers that you can really trust to be least likely to make you trip when you can’t always clearly see the ground ahead is crucial.
2. Developing strategies and finding accessories to address the side-effects of facial paralysis while running
- Running with a neck warmer or “neck gaiter”* as a face mask
Way before I started running I had been experimenting with different ways of keeping my face warm in cold and windy weather. As I am sure anyone with facial paralysis can relate to, the cold makes it even more difficult for you to move your face and make you even more self-conscious about your looks and so you want to do everything to keep your face warm.
At first I started with thin face mask/ balaclava combinations that some skiers or motorcyclists wear. In the end I came across something called a “running neck gaiter” which I find works best for me as I can easily pull it down if need to cool off but it can pull it right up to cover my mouth and nose to get maximum protection for my face while wearing a running hat.
The added benefit, of course, is that from a distance people can’t see my facial paralysis and so i feel less self-conscious or worried about how my face may be moving in odd ways while running.
I even found this neck gaiter useful in other situations too. For example, when I have had to travel on long flights I find putting this on my face not only stops my throat getting dry but because I am more likely to dribble when sleeping due to the paralysis it means I can take a nap without worrying how I might look to other people while I am asleep.
- Wearing something that allows you to carry what you need to address the side effects of the facial paralysis
Although in my day-to-day, the eye on the paralysed side of my face suffers from insufficient production of tears, when I am running for some reason my eye starts streaming.
It’s awful when you realise you have no tissues and are stuck with streaming eyes. For this reason I found I needed a way to carry an inordinately large amount of tissues on any run. So, now I either buy shorts with large pockets or sew inside pockets into my shorts. I also found a large armband that fits my phone but also a good bunch of clean tissues has been useful too.
- A running cap that protects your eyes from the sun
Due to the facial paralysis I cannot screw up the eye on one side of my face so I find that a running hat with a rim or visor is crucial on days when it is not overcast. I also found that on hotter days I want the freedom to be able to carry my hat when running. For this reason I also experimented with a flexible running hat that I can squeeze under my armband or fit in the back of my shorts when running. This is another opportunity to find what works for you.
- Clip on sunglasses
I found that even while wearing a running hat with a rim to stop the sun going directly into my eyes, that I still needed sunglasses in some cases. For example, when running early in the morning, the sun can still be quite low in the sky and so I now run with clip-on sunglasses that I can actually clip on to the neckline of my t-shirt when not needed. They may not look trendy but they are light and very easy to take on and off as needed. If you don’t already wear glasses you may want to find what kind of sunglasses are easiest for you to take on and off as required and cause you the least hassle while running. Some opticians can also help cut or trim off-the-shelf clip-on running glasses to fit the shape of your existing glasses.
- Headphones
If you are listening to music or podcasts while running you’ll also want to find headphones that are comfortable and don’t completely block out the sound around you.
I also suffer from partial deafness in one ear and so sounds can on occasion sound to me like they are coming from the opposite direction from which they are coming in reality. For this reason I am particularly careful about making sure that I use headphones that don’t fully block out external sounds. I also have developed the habit to stop at any crossroads or intersections no matter how quiet the street to make sure I can visually check and not rely completely on my hearing.
For the above reasons, I find earbuds are not suitable for me although they seem to be the most popular these days. In my search to find a comfortable set of headphones I also discovered that my ears are actually smaller than the average persons so I had to experiment with finding a design that would reduce the weight on the top of my ears while also not falling off my ears or sliding while I run. Surprisingly I actually found that rear band headphones were the best fit for me but you may find that headphones without a rear band that sit directly on each ear separately work just as well for you.
3. Listening to what engages, supports or helpfully distracts
It is great if you find that you don’t need to listen to anything while running as this is probably by far the safest option and most healthy. However, I find I have not reached that stage yet so I need to listen to something for my brain to with while I am running.
When I first started running I found that I needed to listen to fast-paced music. In fact the reason I started listening to anything at all was because I realised that the more I could hear my breathing, and how intense my breathing was as I was running, it had a tendency to make me feel like my body was more tired than it was in reality. In this way the music was a way to distract me from hearing my own increasingly labored breathing while setting a pace for my running.
However, a few years ago I became more aware of the wealth of podcasts available and now find that podcasts are my favoured companion when I run.
Ones that I used to initially related to my personal interest in health like BBC Radio 4’s “All In The Mind”, “Inside Health” or “Health Check” but since then I’ve found a wide range of podcasts on topics that relate to my other areas of interest and even delve quite deeply into my own area of work, and so each week I download a variety so that I can choose the kind of topic that feels of interest on that day.
On some days I want to just go with something light and fun, and on others I feel like more interested in more specialist or deep content and so having the flexibility to select a podcast based on my mood for that day helps me finish my daily run even on days when I am feeling more tired or less motivated.
And of course it’s a great added bonus to go on a run and by the end of it feel like you’ve learned something new!
4. Being aware that your interests and tastes will change over time
As with my description above in relation to how my interest in what I listen to over time has changed, it’s worth keeping in mind that just because you find something that works for you today, you may find in the future it no longer becomes your preference or best fit.
For example, for now I prefer to run alone as I can adjust my pace and distance as and when I like, but I can see a time in the future when I might prefer to run with others or even try a park run type event.
5. Coming to peace with starting small and working up longer distances over time
Being kind to myself, and accepting that starting small is fine, has also been one reason that I’ve been able to go from hating running to now finding it an essential part of my weekly routine. I started off with just 5 to 10 minutes and allowed myself to stop to walk or slow down as and when needed. I gradually built up so that now I can run for 2 hours – still with multiple pauses to blow my nose due to the streaming eye on one side of my face though 🙁
As I look back I would not have imagined myself as someone who could run for 30 minutes let alone 2 hours but I think self forgiveness, being patience and finding satisfaction in small steps forward has been crucial to getting where I am today.
All this detail and preparation may make you think “why bother” but once you find out what works for you then the preparation becomes second nature and you find less time is required to prepare over time.
Especially in these times of COVID19 when most sports centers are closed and when there might only be one opportunity to get out during the day, running can be one of the best “medicines” for helping you stay physically well and mentally balanced.
As always, I share tactics and strategies that I’ve built up over time but I’d love to hear from others how they have turned exercise or running into a practice that sustains and provides enjoyment from something that once felt like a burden or obligation.
*Just in case you are not familiar with these kinds of running neck warmer/bandana/face mask accessories, you can find examples by searching for “running neck gaiter” images on the web. You may also see more people wearing these in your neighbourhood recently if you are living in a place in which people are “sheltering in place” or working from home but are allowed to go out running once a dayand want to be able to wear something that has some of the functions of a facemask albeit in a limited way.